12:18 am - Tuesday March 26, 2019

व्यंग्य : 8 प्रतिशत उन्नति का अधिकार विधेयक पारित करने की तैयारी : Satire : 8% Right to Growth Bill To Be Introduced

indian gdp growth rateदेश की आर्थिक उन्नति की दर दशक की सबसे कम ४.४% होने की खबर के साथ संसद तुरंत कार्यवाही करने के लिए कमर कस कर तत्पर हो गयी. सब विद्वान सांसदों ने मिल कर फैसला लिया की सूचना के अधिकार , शिक्षा के अधिकार , खाद्यान्न के अधिकार , रोज़गार के अधिकार , दहेज़ व् बलात्कार को रोकने के विधेयक पारित कर जिस प्रकार संसद ने इन समस्यायों का समस्त देश से उन्मूलन कर दिया है ठीक उसी प्रकार देश की आर्थिक प्रगति की दर आठ प्रतिशत सुनिश्चित करने का अधिकार का विधेयक भी तुरंत पास करने की आवश्यकता है.बिना आठ प्रतिशत की आर्थिक प्रगति के गरीबी हटाना संभव नहीं है. इस लिए आठ प्रतिशत की विकास दर देश का जन्म सिद्ध अधिकार है और उसको पाने के लिए इस विधेयक का पारित होना ही एक मात्र विकल्प है. किसी मनचली प्रथम बार चुनी हुए युवती सांसद ने पूछ लिया की यह विकास दर कैसे आएगी व् उसे देगा कौन ?
उसे तुरंत उसकी कम आयु व् संसदीय परम्पराओं की अनभिज्ञता का बोध कराया गया व् सदन के पुस्तकालय मैं जा कर महिला उत्पीडन रोकने के विधेयकों का इतिहास व् प्रभाव पढ़ कर दुबारा आने को कहा गया.

इस अज्येंद्र रेड्डी के व्यंग्य के लेख को देश हित मैं लिंक पर क्लिक कर अवश्य पढ़ें .

With economy in doldrums, Parliament introduces ‘Right to 8% Growth’ bill

Ajayendar Reddy

With the latest quarterly estimates showing that the economy grew by just 4.4 per cent in the first quarter of the current fiscal – the weakest in four years – Parliament has sprung into action by introducing a new bill titled the Right to 8% Growth. As is usually the case with ‘rights based legislation’, this bill has been championed by Smt Sonia Gandhi, who of late has been saddened by news of the growth slump. When asked if such a ‘right’ is even feasible, Sonia Gandhi said, “The question is not if we can do this; we have to do this,” to huge applause by her party members.
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Quoting JF Kennedy, an emotional Sonia Gandhi continued, “Ask not what your country can do for you; Ask what you can do for the country. This country has given so many rights to the people. It is time for the people to give some rights to the country. ‘Right to 8% growth’ for India is the least we can do.”

Sources in the PMO said that while NAC and Sonia Gandhi wanted ‘Right to 10% growth’, erstwhile economist and acting Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh convinced her to tone it down a little to 8%. When Rahul Gandhi was asked how GDP growth can be a matter of right and how legislation can ensure it, he said, “If a bill is not good enough, we will bring in a Constitutional amendment. That will be a game-changer.”

“We have ensured many rights for the poor like right to food, right to employment, right to education etc. But people of India are not aware that we may not be able to afford these rights without growth. That is when we decided that ‘Right to 8% Growth’ is fundamental to our efforts to secure other rights for the poor,” explained Rahul Gandhi.

Explaining the rationale behind the decision, Finance Minister P.Chidambaram said, “Oh Lord! I can’t even imagine the kind of effort we need to put in to get back to 8% growth – the number of decisions that need to be taken, the number of CMs that need to be consulted, and the number of parties that need to be convinced. As the great Rahul Gandhi once said, ‘Boss! Not happening’. However, once we decided to call it a ‘Right’, all the parties immediately supported it.”

Opposition parties have lent qualified support to the bill with many seeking amendments. JD-U’s Nitish Kumar has insisted that the bill’s title be amended to state: ‘the right to 8% growth that is secular and inclusive’. The BJP said it is in principle not opposed to the idea of right to growth but was feeling slightly uneasy about it although it can’t quite figure out why. Explaining his party’s stand, Shri Arun Jaitley said, “My party supports the bill but is not pleased with the way the bill has been introduced. BJP likes the taste of the bill but not the smell of it, if you know what I mean.”

The UnReal Times reached out to various leaders for their reactions on the historic legislation:

Manish Tewari: “It is a landmark legislation passed under the guidance of the honorable Congress President which should lead to a holistic and sustainable socio-economic transformation of the country that is underpinned by a paradigm shift in the extant jurisprudence for social justice in consonance with our secular ethos.”

Mani Shankar Aiyer: “Right to 8% growth is welcome but unless it is for the poor, of the poor and by the poor, I have nothing but contempt for it.”Cartoon-Economic-growth

Dr. Manmohan Singh: “If we work hard and provided there are no further Parliamentary disruptions and external disturbances such as civil war in Congo or floods in Eastern Europe, we can certainly achieve 8% growth. Theek hai?”

Renuka Choudhary: “HAHAHA, HHOHOHO, KHIKHIKHI, we can achieve it.”

Even Narendra Modi got carried away by the euphoria and joined in with his slogan, “Yuss we can, yuss we will”. He later retracted his statement.

Filed in: Economy, Humour

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